Let’s Talk: Modern Wedding Etiquette

Now, this is a topic I can go on and on about, but don’t worry this blog won’t be THAT long.

If you’re a future wedding guest, this blog is for you. Below you’ll find an outline at what is considered “modern wedding etiquette”. I hope you find this helpful!

First and foremost, if you’ve received a wedding invitation with an RSVP request and you know you can or cannot attend, do NOT wait until the last minute to send in your RSVP! It makes no sense to wait. You could lose the invite card or just forget all together. Missing the deadline causes stress for the couple who are being asked by the wedding vendors for a confirmed count of all of their guests. They may account for you, pay for you — only to find out weeks later you were not attending and knew all along you wouldn’t be. Please, if you learn nothing else from this, learn to RSVP immediately once you’ve made your plans.

Included on the save the date card or the actual wedding invitation is normally the couple’s wedding website. This website holds all the details of the venue location, timeline for the big day and oftentimes the weekend if its a destination wedding, parking directions, attire for all of the wedding weekends events, wedding registry and more. Read this! The couple has spent hours making this so they can avoid being asked multiple times by everyone about details they have already given you. It’s crucial for wedding guests to do their part at weddings they are invited to and plan to attend.

You’ve decided that you’ll attend the wedding and you have sent the happy couple your RSVP. That’s GREAT! Now, what’s next you wonder? Your wedding attire…This is a big one, folks! Whether the couple has requested a black tie affair, black tie optional, cocktail, even a color themed attire — PLEASE abide by it! If it’s not something you love, that’s okay, it’s something THEY love and that’s what matters. It’s incredibly disheartening for the couple to see their family member or friend not adhering to the dress code at their wedding as they walk down the aisle. To you, their guest, it may not seem like a big deal. Trust me when I tell you, it is to them.

There is a very controversial topic for couples planning their wedding: Inviting children. The couple may love children, they may even have children of their own but if their website or invitation says “Adults Only” they mean just that. Adults only. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to you and your children, it does. There are no exceptions to this. It is inconsiderate to ask the couple to make an exception for your child(ren) and can cause problems between you + them. Don’t do it. At the end of the day, if the couple requests to not have children at their wedding…Don’t bring them. Have a family member watch them for you so you can enjoy an adult celebration with your friends + family.

Something else to consider when making your plans for the evening is to plan to stay throughout most of the evening. Do your best to not leave the reception too early. During cocktail hour hopefully you will have some time to socialize but that’s not normally enough time to see family and friends and congratulate the newlyweds. I get that some guests might’ve traveled far and don’t want to get back late, have work the next day, etc but at least stay through dinner and the first dances. Also, please keep in mind while the wedding may be open bar the couple is expecting you to be responsible. Pace yourself and continue to hydrate accordingly..

Last, but most certainly not least, LIMIT your phone usage! This is especially crucial for the ceremony. If the couple wishes to have an “unplugged” ceremony, please just turn your phone off. Enjoy the time at the ceremony. Be present. You’re there for the newlyweds and their celebration, not to post on your social media. I am a firm believer for the newlyweds, their family and friends to be present and enjoy their evening without the phones. How often are you all together? If you’re like my family — it’s not often enough. Put your phone down. The memories you’ll make will far out weight that cell phone photo you took.

If you like what you read, you might enjoy my last post, “Planning Your Wedding Ceremony? Here’s My Advice As A Wedding Photographer”.

Liked these tips? Follow my blog for more tips and advice and as always, you can find me on Instagram! If you like what you see on my portfolio page and you’re looking to book a wedding photographer or even an elopement photographer, check me out and let’s get in touch!!